Steve's random and often belligerent Journal - Eurovision [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
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Eurovision [May. 20th, 2006|08:07 pm]
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Oh Lordy, even the intro act is singing flat.
Argh, I can't even watch the presenters without cringing. This bodes well. Will update as the horror continues.

Terrywatch: He blatantly doesn't care already. Brilliant.

"Those are his own teeth..." Thanks for that, Terry.
"I'm missing describing these films [link adverts of Greece] to you ... see, there's a beach... er..."
"You have to give them marks for that. A cappella! ...They'll probably come last."
*Another intro film showing Greek artefacts* "Don't mention the Marbles..."
"Spain lost the plot years ago."
*To the beauty in the clip* "Not her again..." (it's not yet song 8. We're all doomed.)
"This song is called... well, I'm not sure. 'Nee-ner-nee-ner-ngg' is what it's called."

I'd keep this post current, but my eyes are bleeding and I want to die. I'll leave it to the experts (eg: anw's genius post, and Sarahx) and go hide somewhere in a dark room where the country-n-western Germans can't get me.

It's no good, Terry's too much not to quote:
"Hello Missus, is that your own chicken?"

"WE ARR DE WINNERS OF EUROVEESHUN!" "WE ARE! WE ARE!" Apparently, the eyebrows are coming to get us.

The UK entry. Um. Er...
Um.
Okay, I'll ask - WHAT THE HELL? No, really, WTF? And they're getting applause! Isn't he about 15 years too old for this?

Did the heavy metal band just declare this an aRockalypse? Rockelluia?
Terry: "The Klingons and The Orcs..."
"Isn't that Roy Wood singing the lead?"

"This song was written by the guy in the booth next to mine. So I'm just gonna endorse this, because he's a tall chap and probably watches his weight..."

I want this French tart to stop her frantic wailing so I can hear the really rather good cello. That's probably not a good sign.
Croatia: Yikes, what's wrong with her face?!

Did Terry just call a Greek Orthodox Rosary "Worry beads"?

"You'll see that she's lumbered with what look like trousers of kitchen foil, but she's not a woman who believes in standing still in the mouth of a gale..." WHAT? (Song starts) Oh. I see.

"Let's hear it for Scandanavia... they'll all be votin' for each other anyway..."
"Ah, my favourite... Euclid."

Turkey have fielded a Blonde who looks like she could kill me. She has a big tattoo, and a remarkable ability to hit the bass notes.

Aargh, I thought it was over but there's one to go. Armenia.

"Nice hat."
"This song brings suspenders to an entirely new level."

Greek Presenter: "You're fantastic!"
Terry: "You're not so bad yourself, particularly in that suit."

That's it, I'm going out for food. The reminder clips would be enough to bring on that coma. Back soon.
Am back. Why are there parrot costumes?

"Just give us the scores, ya eejit!"
"I've forgotten the song. Oh, it's yer man, it's Harry Hill."

Looks like Finland's getting it... I still wish the alternative Swedish rock entry had got in.

FINLAND WIN BIG! Maybe this will usher in a new era of alternatives to the usual europop and wailing. Lordi, you wock! \m/ I wanna hear the song again.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 07:18 pm (UTC)

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...Hello! This is the Essex Jury.

Was that the swiss X-factor winners, or just the most glaringly obvious attempt at unity through diversity.

Wha does Moldova want to give me their choca?
[User Picture]From: [info]tyrell
2006-05-20 07:20 pm (UTC)

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I don't not know. I suspect Moldova were disagreeing on just how the ending went. And the Britney follow-up. And now someone's singing R+B.

I haven't watched one of these for years: does everyone always try to sing as though they're American?
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 07:28 pm (UTC)

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He is pissed isn't he?

And: white is the new black
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 07:34 pm (UTC)

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Not yet but I think there was just a delivery. "Yer good man." That wasn't an ad-lib.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 07:33 pm (UTC)

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I was going to say something but I'm now at a loss for words.

Spain W!T!F?
[User Picture]From: [info]tyrell
2006-05-20 07:35 pm (UTC)

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"Spain lost the plot years ago..."

Yeah, he's pissed.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 07:47 pm (UTC)

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I think the russian entry works in the vaguely eastern european Deli near my office.
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 08:02 pm (UTC)

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'They think it will win, some poeple. I think it takes a while to get going, and it doesn't go very far'.

I think I'm in love with Terry
[User Picture]From: [info]thesme_01
2006-05-22 09:18 am (UTC)

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You gotta love the Tazz. That's we all us paddies watch the eurovision on the Beeb. Anyway I MISSED IT ALL - and by the sound of [info]tyrell there, I think I had a lucky escape.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 08:07 pm (UTC)

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Lithuania! I love you, I love you all.

We are the winners of eurovision.

Nothing but pure brass neck and balls.
[User Picture]From: [info]hellison
2006-05-21 04:53 pm (UTC)

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Yay another lithuania fan! I even voted for them ;p

Tho now? Can't get the bloody thing out of my head.
[User Picture]From: [info]peppapig
2006-05-20 08:10 pm (UTC)

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WE ARE THE WINNURS say Lithuania. ROFL..... I've only just got in and I can't face the whole song. It will be etched in my mind forever. MY EARS! Time for CSI comedy and I'll switch back for the adverts
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 08:13 pm (UTC)

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You have absolutely no conception of the utter majesty* you have missed out upon so far.

*not strictly true.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 08:16 pm (UTC)

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Here it comes

RRRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWK!! \m/
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 08:20 pm (UTC)

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Nicely understated...

I thought the classiest bit was when his wings erected
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 08:28 pm (UTC)

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Croatia: Obviously much more fun to sing than to listen to
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 08:30 pm (UTC)

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They just did a Bucks Fizz!
[User Picture]From: [info]peppapig
2006-05-20 08:31 pm (UTC)

Croatia

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I think the crowd just got a great look at her crutch. What the hell is she wearing?

Fab dancing though.
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 08:37 pm (UTC)

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Sweden: a fine lump of a girl.

Yes. And the outfit is definitely a costar
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 08:38 pm (UTC)

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it matches the danish girls boots.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 08:42 pm (UTC)

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I want the Turkish lady to...


Sorry.

Umm gosh!
[User Picture]From: [info]tyrell
2006-05-20 08:43 pm (UTC)

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I'm scared.
[User Picture]From: [info]peppapig
2006-05-20 08:53 pm (UTC)

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make the strange bondage dance with tights stop!
[User Picture]From: [info]therealsherbs
2006-05-20 08:55 pm (UTC)

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do you think someone sent out a memo beforehand

Costume: make sure it has a long floaty bit for our new wind machine.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 08:58 pm (UTC)

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Please select from one of the prop sets listed below:

Pyrotechnics.

Wind machine.

Bondage straps and extraordinary rendition table.

Pop-up Suprise Piano.
[User Picture]From: [info]therealsherbs
2006-05-20 09:01 pm (UTC)

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who's the guy in the sludge coloured plastic jacket?
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 09:06 pm (UTC)

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That'd be Sakis something or other.
[User Picture]From: [info]therealsherbs
2006-05-20 09:02 pm (UTC)

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Of course, now we get the cultural bit.
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 09:03 pm (UTC)

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It's all been cultural!
[User Picture]From: [info]toriana
2006-05-20 09:15 pm (UTC)

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Having been working I only just realised you've sat through the whole of the Eurovision song contest and updated your LJ about it as it happened.

It's Saturday night. I had a deadline to meet, what's your excuse???
[User Picture]From: [info]tyrell
2006-05-20 09:18 pm (UTC)

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I was walking around Brighton all day, and now I'm knackered. And I haven't actually watched this in... er... ever. So I thought I'd catch the beginning, and then the horrible horror of it sucked me in...
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 09:15 pm (UTC)

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ooh! I think Finland are onto a winner
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 09:17 pm (UTC)

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the lead isn't convincing, yet.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 09:16 pm (UTC)

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The warsaw pact is still in effect I see.
[User Picture]From: [info]theweaselking
2006-05-20 09:27 pm (UTC)

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I wish I got this on TV. I can't see it from here, sadly.

Did the heavy metal band just declare this a Rockalypse? Rockelluia?

Please, tell me they inflicted Hard Rock Hallelujah on a crowd expecting Abba and Celine Dion.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 09:30 pm (UTC)

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yes and Lordi are currently leading the voting.
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 09:42 pm (UTC)

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HELLO BELARUS!
[User Picture]From: [info]therealsherbs
2006-05-20 09:45 pm (UTC)

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Ok, that's got to be the quote of the night!

at the grinning and giggling German representative:

"Who d'you think you are . . Lord Haw Haw?"
[User Picture]From: [info]being_here
2006-05-20 09:48 pm (UTC)

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HE WAS ON A HORSE! DRESSED IN A COWBOY OUTFIT!
[User Picture]From: [info]chrisisiddall
2006-05-20 09:58 pm (UTC)

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Good on ya Lordi!

Deserved win.
[User Picture]From: [info]lady_lykaina
2006-05-20 11:56 pm (UTC)

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I have sat through the entire thing......OMG!! WTF!! Luckily I was plied wih booze - the only way to do it. The scoring took longer than the actual acts - or seemed to. Much shouting at the TV ensued. Good grief - last time I watched it was when Bucks Fizz won!
[User Picture]From: [info]tyrell
2006-05-21 08:41 am (UTC)

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I think the scoring used to take even longer, when they slowly read out every single number. But they may have let more countries vote this time.

I don't think I've ever watched it all the way through before. ...And now I never have to again. Bleurgh.
[User Picture]From: [info]marysiak
2006-05-21 10:16 pm (UTC)

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The Poodles song is perfectly serviceable, but aside from being heavy metal and not terrible I don't see what's special about it.